11.25.09

1. i wake up to a gray sky. i lay in bed for two hours until a patch of blue appears.

2. coming home last night, a heart full of sadness and fear, and looking up to a deep blue sky. cloudy, but calming.

3. i keep feeling as if something is terribly missing. what is it?

4. Mariee Sioux's "Buried in Teeth."

11.11.09

1. "Brand New Colony" by the Postal Service.

11.08.09

1. being told that i am loved.

2. seeing the Laramie Project performed at my university. at the end, a screen displayed the view of Laramie from where Matthew Shepherd would have seen it. the audience cried.

why "day of beauty"?

hello there. my name is elyse, a curator of beautiful images of sorts. i am originally from central ohio, but i have a problem with sitting still. i previously lived in northern ohio and colorado for a bit, and now i'm living in the southern ohio, appalachian region. i actually started this blog shortly after i moved there.

i have always been a very aesthetically-oriented person. i love going to new places because i am inundated with new things to see. i also have clinical depression, which i seem to have inherited from my dad. when things seem very dark in my life, i try to stop looking inward, and instead feel the warm sun on my skin and the beauty of a sheer white curtain. i think it helps to keep me sane.

one day in boulder, co, i was walking to class and was in a terrible mood. the morning sun was warm and the leaves were scattered on the ground, but i didn't notice because i was hunched over and obsessing about the things that were going wrong. i glanced up to see a branch, eye-level, with the sun blazing through a tiny patch of moss. suddenly, i thought to myself, "doesn't the universe supply everything that i need?" i looked around to realize what a fantastic fall morning it was. and, more importantly, i realized that everything would work out.

i don't believe in a god per se, but i like to think that the world is quite a lovely dance. this somewhat goes against my sociological field of study, but i try to think that we have all of the resources, love, power, etc. that we need. i guess that doesn't stop me from fighting for the people whose resources are scooped up by greedy souls. but still.

i try to live my life by thinking that i have what i need already, and that things work the way they are supposed to, whether i can understand them or not. when i left boulder in anger, i thought i was a failure. but, the course that i ended up taking led me to sociology, which is my absolute love. bad relationships led me to be more confident. negative periods of my life led to bright spots. although i am not always an optimist, i try to see the good in things if i can. this is tempered by my ridiculously skeptical, analytic nature, but i try.

so, if you are reading this, it means that you have found this blog. somehow. i want to say welcome to you, and hopefully you can experience the tiny moments of joy in my life with me.

although i can have days where things are dark and i can't stop crying, i also have amazing glimmers.

"why are you smiling? you're going to class!" asked our janitor once. i didn't even realize what i was feeling. but, i guess when i stopped to notice the smell of pine sap or to appreciate the sun's persistent effort, i felt very lucky to be able to look outside of myself and all of my despondency, if just for a moment, and experience life.

11.05.09

1. i woke up to warm morning light and singing birds. it was a moment of serenity.

2. Bon Iver.

3. a huge pile of leaves. i'm late for class, so i suppress the urge to jump in, but i shuffle my feet along the edge.

4. Little Dragon's song "Blinking Pigs."

11.02.09

1. a fantastic weekend. Belkis came for a visit. we ate. we danced. we laughed. we shared a beer. she got hit on like crazy. some drunk guy and I pretended to sing this bad 90s song to each other. i had a great halloween.