11.25.09

1. i wake up to a gray sky. i lay in bed for two hours until a patch of blue appears.

2. coming home last night, a heart full of sadness and fear, and looking up to a deep blue sky. cloudy, but calming.

3. i keep feeling as if something is terribly missing. what is it?

4. Mariee Sioux's "Buried in Teeth."

11.11.09

1. "Brand New Colony" by the Postal Service.

11.08.09

1. being told that i am loved.

2. seeing the Laramie Project performed at my university. at the end, a screen displayed the view of Laramie from where Matthew Shepherd would have seen it. the audience cried.

why "day of beauty"?

hello there. my name is elyse, a curator of beautiful images of sorts. i am originally from central ohio, but i have a problem with sitting still. i previously lived in northern ohio and colorado for a bit, and now i'm living in the southern ohio, appalachian region. i actually started this blog shortly after i moved there.

i have always been a very aesthetically-oriented person. i love going to new places because i am inundated with new things to see. i also have clinical depression, which i seem to have inherited from my dad. when things seem very dark in my life, i try to stop looking inward, and instead feel the warm sun on my skin and the beauty of a sheer white curtain. i think it helps to keep me sane.

one day in boulder, co, i was walking to class and was in a terrible mood. the morning sun was warm and the leaves were scattered on the ground, but i didn't notice because i was hunched over and obsessing about the things that were going wrong. i glanced up to see a branch, eye-level, with the sun blazing through a tiny patch of moss. suddenly, i thought to myself, "doesn't the universe supply everything that i need?" i looked around to realize what a fantastic fall morning it was. and, more importantly, i realized that everything would work out.

i don't believe in a god per se, but i like to think that the world is quite a lovely dance. this somewhat goes against my sociological field of study, but i try to think that we have all of the resources, love, power, etc. that we need. i guess that doesn't stop me from fighting for the people whose resources are scooped up by greedy souls. but still.

i try to live my life by thinking that i have what i need already, and that things work the way they are supposed to, whether i can understand them or not. when i left boulder in anger, i thought i was a failure. but, the course that i ended up taking led me to sociology, which is my absolute love. bad relationships led me to be more confident. negative periods of my life led to bright spots. although i am not always an optimist, i try to see the good in things if i can. this is tempered by my ridiculously skeptical, analytic nature, but i try.

so, if you are reading this, it means that you have found this blog. somehow. i want to say welcome to you, and hopefully you can experience the tiny moments of joy in my life with me.

although i can have days where things are dark and i can't stop crying, i also have amazing glimmers.

"why are you smiling? you're going to class!" asked our janitor once. i didn't even realize what i was feeling. but, i guess when i stopped to notice the smell of pine sap or to appreciate the sun's persistent effort, i felt very lucky to be able to look outside of myself and all of my despondency, if just for a moment, and experience life.

11.05.09

1. i woke up to warm morning light and singing birds. it was a moment of serenity.

2. Bon Iver.

3. a huge pile of leaves. i'm late for class, so i suppress the urge to jump in, but i shuffle my feet along the edge.

4. Little Dragon's song "Blinking Pigs."

11.02.09

1. a fantastic weekend. Belkis came for a visit. we ate. we danced. we laughed. we shared a beer. she got hit on like crazy. some drunk guy and I pretended to sing this bad 90s song to each other. i had a great halloween.

10.29.09

1. tuliptree leaves a fantastic yellow.

2. Neutral Milk Hotel's "Oh Comely."

3. Bon Iver and Bowerbirds.

10.25.09

1. remembering one of the books/movies that ignited my imagination as a child: The Velveteen Rabbit.

2. laughing and meeting new people.

3. being surprised.

4. trying out my costume for Halloween!

5. an excellent weekend with my mom. we went to the diner, saw a movie, went shopping like mad, and ate an obscene amount of food. we had a lot of good times in general. i adore her, and am so thankful for her.

10.22.09

1. City and Colour's song "The Girl."

2. sitting in the sunlight at jeff, perusing the newspaper.

10.21.09

1. meeting other soc majors.

10.20.09

1. the president's yard carpeted by a thick layer of resonant yellow leaves. isn't his villa lovely?

10.19.09

1. today i got dressed up. i like that feeling for a few hours.

2. couple sitting in the sun at café bibliotech. she tries to bring a spoonful of soup to her lips, and her mischievous, red-headed boyfriend darts in as if to slurp it himself. he does this repeatedly until she starts laughing. it takes her several minutes to start eating.

3. another couple. this one on south green. girl is examining the turning leaves on a tree when her boyfriend pulls up on his bike. he gets off and starts walking over to her. she turns around, a perfectly yellow leaf in her fingers, and holds it up for him to see. a smile spreads across her face, jubilant like childhood.

10.18.09

1. Chrissy Sandman's song "Appalachia." really enjoying being on the corner of Appalachia. it's quite lovely here.

2. warmth and beauty.

10.17.09

1. today i am doing work on group processes/social movements. some of them are absolutely beautiful. for example, youtube smiles!

2. another is: peace through music.

3. three youtube artists come together to cover Fleet Foxes' "White Winter Hymnal." absolute love!

4. numa numa hilarity.

5. dancing around the world.

6. free hugs campaign.

7. celebrating the king of pop. definitely a great moment.

8. and, lastly, improveverywhere's high five video!

9. building community.

10.16.09

1. i love getting mail. today i got a card from my mom that said she had always wished for a daughter. belkis sent me a card too! it has lovely deer and birds on it. i bought them cards a few weeks ago and am excited to send them out.

2. i know that life is essentially a lonely experience, but i also know that i have been very touched by others.

3. pumpkin cookies! Dr. Welser said, "i think pumpkin cookies in the morning taste like victory."

4. mom's excitement over having a girl's night out, just the two of us. hopefully i don't turn into a bitch upon seeing her this time. i don't know where this sleeping rage is hiding.

5. although i worry about my dad's health, he seems so happy with what he's doing in arkansas. watching him drink and sink into sadness and pennilessness--i am so glad that's over.

6. Bon Iver spontaneous a cappella.

10.15.09

1. my mom called and mentioned that she had been reading "Water for Elephants" to Bruce every night. she said they both enjoyed it very much. imagining them, all comfortable in bed and experiencing this wonderfully fun and adventure-filled book together, laughing together, crying together, gasping together, just makes me smile.

2. a tear-filled message from Belkis, and i am again wondering how i can be so selfish when i'm best friends (and platonic soul mates) with the most amazing person i've ever met. she is going to change the world, and has already changed me. i am so incredibly lucky.

3. laughter shared with Arianna.

4. my favourite cuddle-buddy, a stuffed elephant, has the softest trunk and ears ever, and the saddest eyes. he gets all of my love when i'm so far away from everyone.

5. i wrote: "Dear Cody, I still adore/love you and probably always will. I don't want to do the relationship thing again, but maybe I could lay my head on your shoulder sometime and we could read. I'd really like that. Much love, Elyse."

6. last night, after finishing up a slew of graphs, i laid down to sleep. suddenly i felt the fullness of life--absolute completeness, absolute contentment. i wondered, is this how most people feel most of the time? i remember this feeling, but barely. i want to feel it all of the time. i crave it.

7. absolute anticipation: Where the Wild Things Are.

10.13.09

1. Alela Diane's video for "Pieces of String."

2. flaxen-haired children screaming and chasing each other as orange-red-yellow leaves fall around them. i smile with their innate joy.

10.12.09

1. leaf butterflies--i saw these on the HuffPost website and think they're just lovely.

2. comfy couches, well-loved wooden tables, delicious chai, warm light, intimate conversation and the Talking Heads--Arianna and i at the Donkey.

10.11.09

1. porcelain berry.

2. sweetgum in the fall.

3. mystery solved: hawthorn berry. thanks to Arianna's boyfriend!

4. Neko Case's song "I Wish I Was the Moon."

5. Otis Redding's "Sitting on the dock of the bay" always makes me smile.

6. i spent most of today sleeping, crying, and reconnecting with the people of my family. what would i ever do without them?

7. today i realized that i believe in some sort of god. as much as i don't want to. there is something wholly hopeful about looking up and knowing that you're being taken care of, so i guess i will just go with it.

8. video Michael posted.

10.09.09

1. the joy and wonder that people express when realizing that the stairs make noise!

2. most vibrant golden yellow leaves. and across the street the fullest purple leaves. so lovely.

3. the woodworking shop at the university. we stepped inside to get water, and i was lost in the familiar smells and machines...it reminded me so much of my dad and i suddenly felt much closer to him.

4. ATHENS BRICK the maker of the cobbles in the street. it is raining, and the oil is pooling and rainbow-hued on the street.

10.08.09

1. learning about jellyfish.

2. Iron and Wine's "Jezebel."

10.06.09

1. the new release from First Aid Kit, "Waltz for Richard."

2. single tree ablaze with fire-red colour. the neighboring trees only whisper of yellows.

3. Erica says, the sky was so clear last night. i was looking at the moon and a comet blazed across the sky. i made a wish.

what did you wish for? i ask.

i can't tell you--i'm one of those people, she says.

4. trees losing leaves expose hidden bird nests.

5. night, and it is warm coupled with the strangest, lightest, more intermittent rain. it's windy and very dark, and the trees are whispering to me their secrets. i love fall nights.

10.04.09

1. "Dry Grass and Shadows" by Alela Diane.

2. my freedom (which has been reclaimed by me today--opening the door to defining myself outside of the confines of another person--but rather, simply as me). i was never very good at relationships, anyway.

3. my brother and his new wife. both are much loved. this photo is sitting on my desk:

4. Band of Skulls' song "Honest."

5. that bit of cold that fall brings with it at night. it always whispers of possibilities and makes me reminisce about running crazy under orange street lamps.

10.01.09

1. shuffling through the fall leaves. brown and crisp on the brick; they make a sound not unlike aluminum foil. they kick up dead leaf smell. i love fall.

2. rows of art magazines; ad magazines; interior design magazines; news magazines; fashion magazines; feminist magazines. in a little shop in athens. love!

3. remembering boulder: warm soy chai in my hands. my jeans ripped and exposing my legs to the cold ground as i sit on living grass and dead leaves. mark is saying something that i don't like. and the flatirons are pushed up against each other like a traffic pile-up. the aspen leaves are brilliant yellow.

4. this girl's voice.

09.28.09

1. stormy dramatics of the morning sky.

2. First Aid Kit's cover of Graham Nash's "Simple Man."

3. Alela Diane's "White as Diamonds."

4. remembering boulder: Jack said, pain and beauty. they are the same.

09.27.09

1. rain falling lightly on yellow leaves on the ground. some have newly been kicked over. for now, with the rain falling around them, they have exposed a bit of dry ground in their shape. it's reminding me of Andy Goldsworthy's work.

2. blackburn auditorium. night. some of the bricks along the side are dull, but some are reflecting the light of the streetlamps ahead.

3. trees by nelson with those salmon-coloured berries. i have yet to figure out what kind of tree they are.

09.20.09

1. yesterday: Belkis texting a message to her boyfriend on her phone. her face glowed with sudden joy, and i felt the euphoria come off of her in a sudden wave of emotion.

2. this cover of the Cure's "just like heaven" by the Watson Twins.

09.17.09

1. sunlight filtering through greenest foliage. two haphazard square stones--perhaps old foundation pieces--commune on the slanted hillside.

2. remembering yesterday: acorns being shaken free from trees by the wind. they fall around me in a cadence not so far from raindrops.

3. a katydid that has expired on the windowsill. i pick it up for cody. it has a cute face.